8 Things You Should Never Do For A Lover You’ve NotMarried

Don't do these 8 things in a non-committal relationship
because, though love is spontaneous and doesn’t hold back, it
pays to be cautious, especially when there is no formal
commitment from the so-called lover.
Love is about giving in and giving up a few things, but…
1. Don’t change your personality. Now, they say you should
change for the one you love. Yes, that is true. But when the
changing comes from you alone and it seems like you’re being
re-manufactured, then something is wrong. No man or woman
should attempt to change you entirely, unless you really have
bad habits. Aside this, in the event that you’re separated, the
hurt will be worsened by the fact you won’t recognise
yourself. You’ll be nothing without that person. A person who
loves you must accept the real you.
2. Don’t abandon your dreams: This is another one you should
be careful about. Two people in love ca exist without killing
each other’s dreams. It is a good thing for both of you to alter
your careers and dreams to accommodate each other. But
there is a limit. A true lover would aid your dream, ask you to
abandon it. Work out a middle way. If you lose your dream for
a relationship that is not yet solid, marriage especially, sorry
will be your consolation when it ends.
3. Don’t abandon your friends and family. Hmmm, it really is
sad that some people let love kill their relationships with kith
and kin that they had before meeting their lover. They do not
realise that friends are the only thing you can fall back to
when you hit life’s road bumps. If a lover makes it a case to
break your link to friends and family, please exit. They should
find a way to accommodate your friends. If you lose your
friends to that relationship, what happens if it ends?
4. Don’t set up businesses or share details of official
information. Many people think it is love to expose their entire
business plans and financial information to a supposed lover.
But this is dangerous. A lot of people ‘love’ just to deceive
and maybe swindle. If they have access to sensitive official
details, like ATM card pins, internet bank passwords, property
document details, etc, you are exposed to danger!
5. Don’t become a donor agency. Lovers should help each
other, morally and financially. However, don’t be saddled to a
leech, a tick who only feeds off you. You’re not a bank
account or donor agency to anyone. As you give, make sure
it’s reasonable, and for genuine needs. A lover who always
returns for more is a gold-digger, a fraud that you don’t need.
Small money gifts are cool, but should not become the norm
and basis of love.
6. Don’t give unofficial loans, bad personal investments.
Loans are relationship killers. If a lover wants huge sums of
money from you, be wise and make it legal. At worst, make
sure the money is deposited to his/her bank account, to leave
a trail that can be used to retrieve it in case you guys fight.
To withdraw N200,000 and give to your lover in cash as a
loan is not wise. Instead, transfer via bank and write ‘loan’. If
the money is big a signed IOU might be necessary. Also avoid
foolish investments like setting up businesses or funding
projects without legal documents. This may look rigid, but
many people have killed ex-lovers because they could not
retrieve their ‘investments’.
7. Don’t give unfettered access to private emails and social
media accounts. In these modern times, social media
accounts are very sensitive. It should be as personal as
possible. Making it a public affair for a transient lover is bad,
bad and bad. Imagine the damage they could do if you break
up? He or she could for example lock you out of your own
account or even send out compromising messages through
your account.
8. Don’t reveal compromising information or damaging
materials. When we fall in love, there is the temptation to talk
too much, way too much than we need to. There should a lot
of discussion between people in a relationship. But some
things should never be said to some people who are not yet
fully committed to a relationship. Sharing intimate secrets will
put you up for future attacks. Ex-lovers are fond of sharing
demining information, like nudes or private talks.
Love doesn’t hold back, it is spontaneous, it is forgiving and
every other good thing.
But it pays to be cautious, especially when there is no formal
commitment from so-called lover.
To be in love is to love with wisdom and caution…